Bleacher Banter Buff Pillows

'Pass this down, please.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'Anderson! On this team we slap hands or slap fannies after someone scores a run. We do not slap faces.'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

Fan-Centric Stadium

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'Oh yeah, well, MY DADDY can scare ELEPHANTS!'

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'Time out!'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

Bad Knees.

Might And Mane

'Her bruxism resulted in a ferine bricole.'

Stadium usher of the month.

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

How to show some hustle.

Dugout sale!

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

Prodigious!

"Hey - you're a real stand-up guy. . . !"

"I'll have this guy, this guy, and this guy."

American Sports Idol.