Blaze Builder Gifts

"Well, Gorg, looks like you've taken your invention to the next level."

"Young Frankenstein"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"She's been so creative lately."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Werewolves of London..."

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Lego Haircut

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

"I'm still pre-literate."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'