Black Box Collector Pillows

"Unfortunately, what we thought to be the black box turned out to be the navy blue box"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'It must be the dead sea.'

Try me/try me/try me...

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Feeling for shells

Brick Salesman

"I can hear the sea boiling."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

Utility Chic.

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"You get one every time you order something online."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

For Sale By Owner

Snail Love.

'OK, so you've considered a whale and never committed. How about adoping a shell?'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

"I don't get it, everyone talks about 'Working from Home' as if it's something new."

"My pappy built this shell with his bare claws. I'll be damned if some freeloader moves in."