Bitterness Aficionado Mugs

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

The shape of things to come

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

Barbara Cartland

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

How to injury yourself as an adult

"You're not my husband."

Man and Tree - I need a hug.

'I fancy stretching my legs. Could you order the Bitter?'

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

Man Struggling with Taxes/Clothing/Medical/Misc/Food/Shelter/Education.

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Standup Pharmacist

"His acceptance speech was only 140 characterslong."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'Dude, check it out!'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"I always cry at weddings because I'm philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage."

"Nice guy...but weird sense of humor."

Supermarket canned laughter.

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'Have a nice day! See you later!'