Bite-sized Foodies Gifts

Back in 5 minutes!

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"So, how's your scary movie?"

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"He feels the honey-citrus glaze overpowers the plum."

"One coping mechanism I suggest to deal with uncertain times is to eat as much as you can, gain a lot of weight, and then go have a nap for six months or so."

'What have you got?'

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

"It's adjusted for inflation. A dollar a chip."

Reserve Ants

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

"Parrot Fish? Well THAT is going to repeat on me later..."

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

'Oh my... Well, this is awkward!'

'It's a chocolate patch!'

'What do you fancy? A Zargoid Fliptonian, or a Martian?'

"I don't want to appear ungrateful but just once I'd like to eat out!"

Hangry

"There's a fly in my soup."

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

'Low fat, high fiber. We'll come back tonight for the rest of them.'

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

Lady sees vending machine: 'Your 2 Cents Worth 50 Cents'

Pre-emptive strike against brussels sprouts.

ICE CREAM 137 FLAVORS, 'If you just want plain ice cream, sir, you'll have to sign a vanilla waiver.'