Birthday Forgetter Champion Pillows

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

'I wish I looked like a model.'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

'I gave you life and you forget my birthday.'

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

'If you don't count your birthday...why should I remember it?'

"My memory's terrible these days"

"My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary..."

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

'Noah completely forgot the fish.'

"One stone for every year you've escaped death!"

"S**t! I forgot the mask!"

"That reminds me...Happy valentine."

'We were playing mothers and fathers and I forgot our wedding anniversary.'

Man forgeting anniversary

'What do you mean it was last night?! Let me see the tickets!'

Three Unwise Men

'It's Fred, he wants to know if you want to go fishing Saturday. The day of our wedding anniversary.'

"Sorry, your accident insurance doesn't cover you forgetting your twenty second wedding anniversary."

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

'I told him smoking would stunt his growth.'

'This website says that the average human gestation 262 to 270 days which means I was probably conceived on...my mum's birthday...'

'He said we'd 'push the boat out' for my birthday, then took me down the lifeboat station!' (wife complains to marriage counselor).

"Stop moping. Lots of people who don't make a million by thirty make tons later on."

The Originator of the office birthday party...