Birthday Forgetter Champion Pillows

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

'I gave you life and you forget my birthday.'

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

"Did someone forget to invite Dwayne?"

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."

'If you don't count your birthday...why should I remember it?'

"My memory's terrible these days"

"My husband has such a good memory: He's never missed a birthday or a wedding anniversary..."

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

'Noah completely forgot the fish.'

"S**t! I forgot the mask!"

"That reminds me...Happy valentine."

'We were playing mothers and fathers and I forgot our wedding anniversary.'

Man forgeting anniversary

Three Unwise Men

'It's Fred, he wants to know if you want to go fishing Saturday. The day of our wedding anniversary.'

"Sorry, your accident insurance doesn't cover you forgetting your twenty second wedding anniversary."

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

'He said we'd 'push the boat out' for my birthday, then took me down the lifeboat station!' (wife complains to marriage counselor).

"Stop moping. Lots of people who don't make a million by thirty make tons later on."

'This website says that the average human gestation 262 to 270 days which means I was probably conceived on...my mum's birthday...'

The Originator of the office birthday party...

"Don't panic. It's only the candles on Jeff's birthday cake setting off the smoke alarm."