Birthday Celebration Pillows

'Thanks, it's just what I wanted...Thanks, it's just what I wanted...'

Surprise!

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"I wanted to get that Annie Leibovitz person to come over and take your birthday picture, but she doesn't return her calls."

Happy Birthday

"I shoulda' fucked every man I ever met."

Did Ernestine like her birthday gift? No --- I gave her soap on a rope and she wanted bling on a string.

This just in! My dad's doing flowers for a giant sweet 16 party. And�it's someone in our grade. Awesome. If we can figure out who it is, we can wangle invitations. Umm. Gotta go! Good luck with that, Twig. Who put the "sweet" in "sweet 16"?

Mr James

Traveller's Luggage.

Time for Cake and Cava!

'As it's your birthday, I think I'll have a pudding.'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

"Yes, I got my wish - my '70's hair back."

"This is a great red."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

'I sent out for everything.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "