Birdwise Jokester T-Shirts

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'You are pigeon toed.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

A couple of birds out on the town.

"Well, that backfired."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

The Scientist

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Artist Hazards

CEO and COO.

"It's a thongbird."