Birdwatcher's Adventure Gifts

'Thinking quickly, Ernie jerked out his instamatic and clicked away at his farm below.'

Children's Parties

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"That's not how I sat on you."

Intelligent people laugh too!

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

Bird Torture.

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Two vegans, please."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Vegetarian Birds

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Beaver tower

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

Trick or Tweet

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"