Bird Naming Champion Pillows

"I've spent Lockdown learning all the names of the birds in the garden... that's Keith, Carol, Mike and Sally."

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Will you stop! You know that freaks me out!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Replacements for Extinct Animals

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'Never shoot straight up.'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

"Why?"

'I want to tap into my higher self.'

Closed for Summer.

'I Egret that I will have to decline.'

'Why did Tarzan name his chimp cheetah?'

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof!! When you die, may I hang you up in my garden for the blue tits..?"

"I hate having my calls monitored."

'That's right, the red-headed bullfinch. Man, you're really good at this.'

Scientist taking air quality reading on roof with canary wearing gas mask.

'Very interesting. How many bird calls do you know?'

Be Generous to someone.

"M'lud, my client has no choice but to plead guilty to the charge of jaywalking as he is,in fact a jay."

'We've decided to call her 'Whiskers'...'

Bird box with satellite dish.

"Today: Meet the goldfinch 3-5 p.m."

'I know there are worms around here somewhere...I just can't put my finger on it. Probably because I don't have one.'

Wild Bird Sanctuary

Prof. Flocking was very influential on campus. Particularly amongst the Ornithologist."

"Don't worry. He's got unlimited minutes."

'He took the first prize at the bird show, He ate the prize budgie,'

Can I pick your brains?

"Relax. We're all pigeon-toed."

'Aw! Look - someone with a bigger beak than mine...'

'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...'