Bipartisan Banter Prints

A toast to Ted Kennedy.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

Heart To Heart

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

"If you must know, like most cats I'm a registered Independent!"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

The world of Freudian slips...

"Democrats and Republicans agreeing?! The end times have arrived!"

'We were playing doctor until she hit me with a malpractice suit!'

How are we supposed to tweet in 140 characters when all we can use are zeroes and ones!?

"If your faith is so strong, why did you rush to the E.R. instead of your church?"

"Ever notice that you finish my sentences and. . ."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, BOO! Did I scare you? Regards, Rick in Seattle. (Actual reader letter). Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com. Yeah, I'm really scared. Aren't you, Rudy? Boo, Rudy! Boooooo! That, however, terrifies me. Sorry, you were saying? Some guy tweeted his breakfast menu.(This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-07)

"I felt the Earth Move!"

Yeah, I'm a songbird, but I'd rather be known as a singer/songwriter.

I need advice and if you ever tall anyone I asked, you're dead. Go ahead. People aren't taking me seriously. When I insult them, they don't seem that bothered. They don't cry or run away like they used to. C'mon, you're plenty offensive. Don't patronize me you @#$% meathead. Wow. Didn't bother me a bit.

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

Looks like it might rain.

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

"We'll be found soon I didn't pay the television licence"

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

"I blame the government for everything. What do you do?"

'Try not to dip your shoulder and keep your head in there. Remember, all the great ones go through slumps.'

"Well, that was another lame-duck session."

'Say, isn't that our former congressman?'

'The Republican't Party!'