Biomedicine Gifts

"I'd like to take out a patent on myself."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

vaccine wars.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'The circle is complete!'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings