Billy Ocean Fan T-Shirts

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Lazy Octopus

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The Dubloon Stops Here

'I blame global warming!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

Shellfie

A Preschool of Fish

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

Happy Retirement

A sentimental woman talking to her lover on a ship

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

Two sharks, one says to the other' There's a child in me just trying to get out...'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"