Bill Sleuth Pillows

'I'm paying the hidden fees with hidden payments.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Orderly Conduct of Sales

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

Covidiom: The Pen is Mightier than the Sword.

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

Spy Satellite

School of journalism and politics.

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

'This morning a rumor that we would buy the Arpex Corp drove our stock up $3. Around noon a rumor that Arpex would buy us drove it up another $3. And in the afternoon a rumor that wo have nothing to do with Arpex drove it up $3 more.'

Retail Worker's Thanksgiving

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

'These days, it's hard to tell whom to trust - T.V. news, or your social network. . .'

'But Holmes, how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?'

'Always bought low.'

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

'The price or the biscuits?'

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"Parts and labor?"

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

Gone Phishing

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

"Fraud ..what fraud?... " SEC

"...so if my maths serves me right, if I buy four of these it won't cost you anything"