Bill Battle Champion Pillows

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

'Oh bloody hell, what's their excuse this time?'

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

'Bills, Bills, Bills!'

The Grim Rapper

"I'll be blunt. You don't have much time. In three days I'm turning this over to a collection agency."

Duel Fuel?

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

'Drat! I forgot to pay my gravity bill again.'

'I'm switching to another provider,dear.'

'You've cut me off. So how can I find my cheque book in the dark?'

"They p-p-put m-me in ch-ch-charge."

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

Running away form the costs of electricity and pollution.

"Gentlemen, I've decided to reduce our executive committee to three members."

Computer frustration

'Oh no! Not another bill!'

"I just got a second notice on my credit card bill. But I never even got a first notice."

'You're nothing but a street brawler!'

"Okay. So much for scrimping and spending."

'I'm looking for legal advice.' 'Don't get involved with lawyers. That will be £75.'

"Penny for your thoughts? I'm a solicitor, it'll cost you five hundred!"

'They're always like this just before a predatory business deal.'

'It started with my calls, but now the boss won't even return my eye contact.'

That's me written the cheque to pay the second mortgage we took out to pay the credit cards we used to cover the overdraft we used to pay the loan we used to cover our first mortgage..."

"But I'm not well yet."

"When a postman came in sight, delivering winter fuel bills ..."

CAN'T PAY WON'T PAY '...It's a protest about her son's mobile phone bill'

"Do you have your financial affairs in order?"

'I also examined you for insurance but didn't find any.'