Bilingual Wordsmith T-Shirts

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Cubanisms in the Spanish language

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

Best Seller

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

Mother Goose's Haiku

"He belongs to a lawyer."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"I love you a bushel and a peck. How else?"

Sharp Eyes

You trip on it, you buy it.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'He never listened to his mother!'

A Poet

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"I think that I shall never see a lawsuit lovely as a tree." "Don't go soft on us, Lenny."

Bell Hop

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."