Aspiring Wordsmith T-Shirts

"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."

"Oh hey look, it's the world, asking me to write more poetry."

"I guess the next time someone asks if I need something spelled out for me, the answer will be yes."

Reading my Critics

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"Swing me with your words."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

You trip on it, you buy it.

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Books vs mobile phones

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

Bell Hop

Tom Stoppard

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

Rudyard Kipling