Bilingual Family Members Pillows

"Chiminelas caranchita!"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

Family members!

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Paul goes home for the holidays

Oh, no

Litter Pick

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

The Forever Stamp

Mime Baby

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

'Like you, I don't know why they feed us every day, but as long as they do it, I'll stay...'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Contest of wills.

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

Pretzel family.

'The best part about mom making dessert is being able to lick the spoon.'

"I've recorded every noise my baby makes, so that when he's older I can play it back and he can tell me what he was trying to say. . .!"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

Family Feeling

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"