Big Game Investigator T-Shirts

"Wake up, Larry - you're missing the pregame."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

'That's one heck of a recoil, Bob!'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

For Joe Ninth, 2 out, bases loaded, finally innings, scores tied, this was his moment.

"That one killed my manservant, it fell on his head while he was vacuuming the carpet."

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

"This is not good at all!"

"I know it's the right thing to do, but if we call the cops this sandbox will be tied up for weeks."

Fingerprint Show

Two men converse secretively

'Now this was a crafty one!'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

"Hi, is there anyone who knocked on my door?"

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

'Would you mind handing me that needle and thread, sir?'

"We're making some real progress, except, of course, you're still holding a gun."

"Rhino Poachers !"

'Do you have any idea how many dryer related cases we get around here?!'

Just preparation for my business trip to Africa next month...

"So I said to the guide, wave your arms to distract him while I aim. Then my gun jammed."

'That was my first ever kill.'

'So, I says shoot him one more time just to be sure. . .'

"Sometimes I can't remember whether I am a good cop or a bad cop."

England and Germany

"And this is one I got in the nusrsery in '34."

A one legged man sitting in front of his hunting trophy

'Sure there was a bad side to hunting, but there was also the excitement, the challenge, the romance of it.'

'George,your big game guide is here.'