Bickering Buddies Pillows

"Enjoying a sudden decrease in vision and hearing, are we, Horndog? Well, guess who's enjoying a headache!"

"I can't understand a word you say when your helmet is shut."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I think it stopped breathing."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

'He's barking mad!'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

Fuzz - Max expresses pain.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Did you spill my pint?'

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'