Bickering Buddies Pillows

"Enjoying a sudden decrease in vision and hearing, are we, Horndog? Well, guess who's enjoying a headache!"

"I can't understand a word you say when your helmet is shut."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Peach flirting with a banana.

"I think it stopped breathing."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

Fuzz - Max expresses pain.

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

'He's barking mad!'

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

"Since when did your time spend being man's best friend become billable hours."

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'

'It was a gift.'

Caution: Feeding the dogs under the table leads to the next inevitable step.

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

What will be the worst part about your first semester of college being online classes only? My little brother will be my freshman year roommate!

I used my first draft pick on the turkey leg. It's a proven point-getter! I drafted potatoes. They're not flashy but they are a reliable performer! I'll trade my cranberry sauce for you pie. It's a win-win trade that will benefit us both! No trades -- This pie will score a lot of points for me later! Why are they talking about this wonderful meal like it's fantasy football? It's not a game with winners and losers here. You're absolutely right! Just being here together sharing this meal,

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."