Bicep Curl Comic Gifts

Clown doing curl with barbell has springing ball emerge from bicep.

'That's our mission statement.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

So that's it? I've tweeted a risque photo of my bicep. What happens next? We wait for the outpouring. I'm ready. Bring on the outrage. C'mon media! Let's hear your disgust that some old man would brazenly send such a lascivious photo. Then, with the world looking at me, I'll astound them with my idea of a universal health care system! Wait. Wait. Not yet. it's time for my first nap of the day. Can we do this later? What? Zzzzz. Best way for this to end.

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

Hairstyles

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Olympics create interest in curling.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

'Exhibit A: the oxygen tube that came loose the night she died. You were there that night. You wanted to play then, too.'

"I think we feed to many vitamins to Tweety"

'We need further instruction, your honor. Does a full house beat a straight?'

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

". . . and that's the story of why you should find this defendant. . . GUILTY!"

"My client demands a jury trial."

Wonder Woman: "Trapped in a Man's World"

Curling Rocks!

I rest my case, your honor, in celebration of "Casual Defense Friday." ! !

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'