Biblical Twists Enthusiast Pillows

Noah leaving all the animals behind.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Ten Commandments

Noah's ark, many lions

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."