Biblical Twists Enthusiast Pillows

Noah leaving all the animals behind.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Noah's ark, many lions

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'