Biblical Tales Enthusiast Pillows

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

The Ancient Enquirer: Woman Turns Into Pillar of Salt!

'Living nine hundred years is okay, except you feel so darn anachronistic!'

'I hope you don't mind -- I just HAD to get some fresh air!'

'Isn't it about time to turn over a new leaf...?'

"Be honest with me, Jane! Is there somebody else?"

"Don't look now, but they suddenly got REALLY fruitful!"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"It's so huge that calling it 'Ark' somehow didn't seem to do it justice."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Adam and Eve Arrested

Joseph and his coat

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Adam and Eve in Paradise

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Moses' TV guide.

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."