Biblical Tales Aficionado Pillows

Titanic and Noah's Ark

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

And on the eigth day god has a blob of clay left over, so he created...

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'Jesus gets flashy'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'I don't know, son, if Noah was an animal lover. I imagine he started out that way.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Joseph and his coat

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

Adam and Eve in Paradise

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Moses' TV guide.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

'If Adam and Eve didn't have any clothes, why didn't they go to the mall?'

Mass Exodus.

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."