Biblical Painter Gifts

....And on the seventh day,god painted!

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Caption Contest TK

Bible Bloopers

'Look man, no wings!'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'Even More Disciples'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"It had better be twins."

Moses/stranded shark

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

"Are you sure you sent out those invitations?"

"This artist's very successful. And he's not even dead."

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

A monk illuminating a book with quill pen

Jesus Christo

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Not so fast - What about health care?'