Biblical Jokester T-Shirts

"You think it's tough down there?"

'I can think of ten more for my son-in-law!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Clown God

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"You idiots … we lost!"

"Honey! A Jewish starfish!"

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

"I haven't changed my facebook status."

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'