Biblical Humorist Pillows

Adam reaches for a larger leaf than he needs.

Adam and Eve Food Truck

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

"Mind if I tweak it?"

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

Alt-Right Thomas

'Crimony Eve, it's the 5th one you've shrunk. How many times do I have to tell you that my figs are dry clean only!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

"After receiving the third commandment Moses was alarmed to see the Fire Prevention Officer."

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

"Or,if you prefer, I also have lox and bagels."

Jesus- his final words.

'I'll tell you why it's called paradise. No mother-in-law!'

'Sorry about all this -- It was Pilate error.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

Instead of an olive branch, the dove brings a delivery pizza back to Noah's Ark.

The 11th Commandment

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

'Wander in the desert for forty years? -Is this some kind of FITNESS program?'

'...Well yes, technically I am a single cell organism...'

''Ten Commandments' sounds too stuffy. How about God for Dummies?'

'Take this and use it to make really dumb jokes.'

"Well, we needed the rain."

'An ark? Why are we always the last to know?'

"The amendments are coming next week!"

After exiting the cave David was hiding in, King Saul felt a sudden draft.

"So Judas is all, show me the money, and JC is all, whatever..."

'Everybody's out of compliance except the Israelites, and I'm beginning to worry about THEM.'

The Israelites begin to grumble.

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."