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After 39 years and 11 months of stubbornly wandering the desert, Moses' wife decides to ask for directions to the promised land,

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

What else went on during the plague of darkness.

"I'll turn this exodus around if I have to."

A golfer parts a water hazard, like Moses parted the Red Sea, in order to reach his golf ball.

"I'm from the Bible - a new publication - and we'd like your first hand account of this event."

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

'How would you like to be on my new show: 'Smart Women, Smart Choices'?'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'Special! Wander the Sinai Desert just like Moses! only $999 per person.'

"When we said 'Lead us not into temptation,' we didn't mean it had to be a DESERT!"

"Why do you keep quoting bible passages I never hear in church!?!"

"Now, there's something you don't see every day."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

The Bookworm

Reading my Critics

Moses on the web

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Isabel Allende

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Günter Grass

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