Bible Story Nerd Pillows

'I heard you turned water into wine. What strain of yeast do you use?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Sistine Selfie

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Regifts of the Magi

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY