Bible Story Buff T-Shirts

"Do we have time for this?"

"Well, now the flood warning's been downgraded to just a light mid-afternoon sprinkle."

"Now we'll need a sitter for New Year's Eve."

"Do you know where Noah kept the bees?" "In the ark hives?"

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

Two cars going on Noah's Ark

Goliath, the World's Biggest Philistine, at the Goth Art Gallery.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Auction 'Lot's wife'

"Sorry Buddy, no singles!"

Lot took a small piece of his wife as a keepsake, and because goat meat tended to be bland.

Noah's Ark Paper Airplane

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

'Actually, you're the first to arrive.'

'The unicorns are gay!'

"Um...David, a word if we may."

"So we left a little early...who's gonna notice?"

"Be my valentine...Be my valentine...Be my valentine..."

"Wow! Gold, frankincense, myrrh—and a six-pack!"

"I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."

Crime Scene in the Garden of Eden

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"This place was a lot more fun before the dress code."

"Come back when that thing on your asses clears up."

Farmer asking his rector about a painting at the Royal Academy Exhibition

Why Noah Ate The Unicorns

What about the commandment about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you?

'...will you quit doggy paddling - we want to know how deep it is!'

'They always call it 'Noah's flood,' like it was my fault or something!'

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

David takes down Goliath using a nano-satellite.

"Is this the Love Boat?"

"Hey! Jesus! Shut the door, it's freezing in here. Anyone would think you were born in a barn!"

"Apple pie! Now why didn't I think of that?"