Bible Joke Appreciator Gifts

'Okay, but I think I'll need enforcers.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Moses' Tablet

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Fishing with God

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"OMG, LOL!"

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Laughing Zone Ahead

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Have your people call my people."

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."