Bible Adventures Gifts

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

Baby in Bike Basket

So … how did you two meet?

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Moses' TV guide.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

'If Adam and Eve didn't have any clothes, why didn't they go to the mall?'

Mass Exodus.

'Well, yes, Jennifer -- I suppose Samson WAS sort of like Wolverine.'

"Nooo. Not my legs."

"Now who's being judgy?"

Woodpecker Ark.

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"There's talk of a merger with London Zoo."

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

You are here.

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'S**t!'

'Why didn't you go before we left?'