Beverage Sampling Gifts

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Low-Energy Drinks

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Wine taster with mineral water

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Somewhere in France

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Wine of the Day Club

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

Scientific Tea.

'So that's why they use the Dutch flag colours...it's flat!' (Pepsi logo on vending machine)

"I don't know if I've mentioned this before, Greg, but you are a very attractive man."

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

'While 10-15 years of cellaring are recommended and would certainly improve the bouquet and taste, no, there'sno reason why you can't go out back, behind the dumpster and down the whole thing in 1 chug.'

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

'We let 65 people try the '03 Malbec and told them they couldn't just describe it as 'good'. The result: 65 said it was 'very good'.'

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

Grinds

'I hate making decisions - just bring me a bottle of each.'

Scot's beer.

Good, huh? I grind my own cocoa beans.

"Still sparkling"

'I'm seizing the day.'

Potato-ade - unleash the awesome power of the potato!

Man sees energy drink go hopping by.

the Lesser-known Nogs