Beverage Experimenter Gifts

Scientific Tea.

'Not bad -- now let's try it with a twist of lime.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

Low-Energy Drinks

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

The Inexperienced Cook

Wine taster with mineral water

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Wine of the Day Club

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

Conversion of food products to petroleum substitutes - Conversion of petroleum products to food substitutes.

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"Introducing the Schultzaccino. Neither tea nor coffee."

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'