Bestseller Basher Gifts

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

Dictator, Interrupted

The book that will not be denied!

Extreme Birthdays.

Cookery/Bestsellers/Humour/Art.

Bestsellers have sold so well there are none at all on the shelves.

"Help!"

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

Goldie.

Soccer Fans.

Dictator, Interrupted

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Don't panic Big Guy, I'm just here to cut you down to size.'

We thought everyone would read it, but they haven't got the time.

This is a new talking copier, you've pushed the wrong button, mutton head!

Censorship.

People rushing to buy a book form a book store

'The traffic wardens around here are absolute b**tards.'

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

'He's been very lucky - itstarted off as a suicide note!'

'We'll need a supreme court or something to interpret these.'

After his football career, Bobby 'Header King' Grunz found a satisfying new job.

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

'After sixteen commercials I've forgotten what film we were watching.'

Sir Dudley Emerson-Evans-personal description

'Hank, what kind of big bass attractant are you using?'

"OK, now tell me about the pain when that 20 pound bass got away..."

Sorry, answers are on another number...

"It's a jamming device for fish finders."