Benefits Critic Pillows

'Health benefit? Didn't you get a personal first aid kit when you started working here?'

Universal Credits Computer: Kaput

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

Payroll Dept. My economic anxiety has less to do with the weak dollar than the week's dollars! (Published originally on March 14, 2008.)

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

'I think the global banking sector, drunk on years of excessive bonuses, may need a little more than your 'very angry' T-shirt to make them toe the line.'

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'All hail, our economic Overlords!'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

Employee Benefits

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

"Our dental plan is fluoridation of the water cooler."

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

Man with a top hat. The lid of the hat is rising with some eyes peering out.

"Incentive program, you mean like your paycheck?"

"I bought the roses. I don't need to smell them."

"I like everything about this neighborhood except the people who can afford to live here."

Boss in Office: 'We've had to recalibrate the bonus system - you now owe us five years worth of luncheon vouchers.'

". . . You didn't have to pay for gas and electricity for five years! That's enough compensation, isn't it?"

Boardroom salaries

'You're on benefits, Mr Scrote, I can't sign you off work - I can only sign you off LOOKING for work.'

"The government believes that the benefit system is out of hand!"

'You lot are wrong - he's fit enough to get back up there!'

'We don't pay a salary. We've found we can get all the help we need by providing health insurance.'