Benchwarmer Sympathizer Pillows

It has been 103 innings since I last played.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

The Reindeer Strike

Wildcats Strike.

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Feathered frenzy

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

Spring Training

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

People at airport look at information board showing strike action and union membership cancelled.

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

"Apologies, monsieur, frogs legs are off the menu."

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

Close encounter.

"I AM at my usual position."

He's a rebel without a cause.

'Dear diary: day sixty, still haven't played. Starting to regret choosing baseball. Over the NBA...'

'We're unable to bring you the special report on the coalminers' strike because of the cameraman's strike.'

"Sorry, I can't make any 'On Strike' signs for you because us signmakers are on strike."

Lollipop men on strike.

"I hope there's a special place in hell for him."

'Sorry, folks, but the Pilots' Association has called for a walk out.'

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'