Benchwarmer Sympathizer Pillows

It has been 103 innings since I last played.

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

Wildcats Strike.

The Reindeer Strike

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"Aw, geez. My nuts are frozen." "T-T-Tell me about it."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

Feathered frenzy

We're visiting the marine who's home on leave. Bye! Don't hurry! Sweet! We can hang here! Mmm

Spring Training

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

"If any of you guys out there have lost your jobs, need some help and are struggling to cope, call me. I can't do anything, but it makes me feel better about my own shitty life."

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

People at airport look at information board showing strike action and union membership cancelled.

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

"Apologies, monsieur, frogs legs are off the menu."

Close encounter.

'We're unable to bring you the special report on the coalminers' strike because of the cameraman's strike.'

He's a rebel without a cause.

'Dear diary: day sixty, still haven't played. Starting to regret choosing baseball. Over the NBA...'

"I AM at my usual position."

Lollipop men on strike.

'Sorry, folks, but the Pilots' Association has called for a walk out.'

"Sorry, I can't make any 'On Strike' signs for you because us signmakers are on strike."

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'