Belly Whisperer Pillows

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Children's Parties

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'You know too much!'