Bell Collector T-Shirts

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Try me/try me/try me...

'It must be the dead sea.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

Feeling for shells

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Try his land line.'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."