Bell Collector T-Shirts

'Cool...a bell and wind chimes!'

"So how long have you had this ringing in your ears?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Try me/try me/try me...

'It must be the dead sea.'

"Nuts to you, too."

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'It seats two comfortably.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'We would like to buy three rings... Engagement, wedding and teething!'

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Feeling for shells

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Try his land line.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"