Believers Of Santa Pillows

'If you don't want clothes for Christmas, tell your parents you still believe in Santa Claus.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

Pole dancers

Gracie sees a plane on Christmas Eve and tells her dad Santa is flying it.

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

Santa School.

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

Santa entering a pool for a swim

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

I heard a rumor that he's going to deliver presents using drones this year! I hope not! Drone technology is far less reliable than Rudolph and the other reindeer! And besides, Christmas eve won't be the same if the sound of sleigh bells is replaced by the buzzing of a drone! My big brother said if I don't make his bed for him every day, he'll hack into Santa's database and put me on the "naughty" list. I've never trusted his computer system. And e-mail. I ask for presents with a hard-copy

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"We don't build the toys anymore. We just order them from our factories overseas."

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

I may have a belly full of jelly, but trust me, no one is faster at going through duct work.

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

"If you don't bring me what I want, next year I'll go straight to the manufacturer in China!"