Believer In The Bizarre T-Shirts

Secret government researchers competitively working on preventing the afterlife.

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Extreme Sisyphus

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Now you can send it."

"Squirting flower, squirting flower...."

Welcome: Skeptics Society

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

Salvador Dali's cats.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Baseball.

"What a way to go."

Operation.

UFO and snowman

'I predict that the next big trend will be spontaneous non-existence.'

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

"'Let's introduce him to a mirror' he said. 'It'll be fun he said'. You call the coroner!"

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"It doesn't matter if anyone believes in you. . . what's important is that you believe in yourself!"

'It's time you knew, Son -- you were abandoned here as a child by aliens.'

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver