Belief Comedians Pillows

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

St. Elmo's fired.

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Hey! These are still good!!"

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

Applause

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

Peter explains to the Disciples what really happened.

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

"Till death do us part? Hers or mine?"

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

"Closed until further notice."

'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'

'...But I confessed to Oprah...isn't that in there?'

'Yeah, my head gets cold, too, but the hat sends the wrong message.'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

'Forget it - the nearest wi-fi hot spot is in Rangoon.'

"I didn't say, 'Simon says'..."

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.