Belief Analyzer Pillows

Confirmation Bias

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

'Is there a God? God knows...'

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'Last night I dreamt in widescreen and colour, with director's commentary and added extras.'

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

Sigmund Freud.

Religion, This End Up

"He's mad at God."

Last night I dreamed I was lying on a beach with Sandra Dee, and a big lifeguard asked to see my beach tag. I didn

'There are bankers under my bed.'

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

'So it wasn't b*****t after all.'

'We were just testing our faith.'

"Perhaps we should accept her invitation to church. Then ask the priest questions during the sermon."

I can't decide if your recurring dream about the Hindenburg indicates a preoccupation with death or phallic symbols. I was hoping it just indicted a preoccupation with hydrogen-filled zeppelins.

"My religion is about love and tolerance! Got that, you stupid son of a bitch!?!

'He became a dissident Dissident in protest at the Dissidents.'

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

'As soon as she's out zap her with the brain probe!'

Venus Fly Trap

"I've just had the most horrible dream!"

"Due to social distancing - all gods will be fake from home."

'It's a common hibernation nightmare, You wake up lying next to Ted Nugent,'

Psychiatrist catches patient's hallucination.

"Whoa, deja  vu!"