Being Present Pillows

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

Robert Fripp

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Frog in the puddles.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

How to engage an audience

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

An opera singer

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

"Have you considered vlogging?"

'How long have you had that toupee?'

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

'Any other comments besides, 'turn the chart sideways'?'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

Guitar.

Today's seminar is going to be so much fun...

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'What's my Dad buying me for my Birthday?'

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

'They're my presentation trousers.'

'I'm just updating my Facebook profile.'

I'm snagged on the bottom. I'll have to break the line.

'I'm going to begin with a joke so we can get the humor out of the way.'

Lousy Ventriloquist Fears Return to Normal

Russell Brand.

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."