Being Present Pillows

"Tell your assistant it's perfect."

Frog in the puddles.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

'As you can see the market forecast is quite loopy in the next quarter.'

How to engage an audience

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

An opera singer

'How long have you had that toupee?'

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

Today's seminar is going to be so much fun...

'Any other comments besides, 'turn the chart sideways'?'

Guitar.

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

'How long have you had that toupee?'

"...but before we begin our slide presentation on accounts receivable...this is how I make a bunny!"

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'What's my Dad buying me for my Birthday?'

Man stuck on desert island with WiFi router.

I'm snagged on the bottom. I'll have to break the line.

'I'm going to begin with a joke so we can get the humor out of the way.'

Lousy Ventriloquist Fears Return to Normal

"Okay, I'll admit it. I'm only dating you so you'll follow me on social media."

"And having a gazillion fake fans? That also came from social media, Tommy."

"I have so many summer videos on my phone, but I don’t remember being there." "Sure. Because you experienced it all through your phone."