Being Loud Pillows

Shouting

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Future garbage truck driver.

POP goes the weasel, Collin, not ka-boom splat.

'You may now kick the bride.'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

"I think I'd be better at leading if I could yell louder."

Women pro tennis players having a conversation

At 'Appy 'Ampstead on Easter Monday.

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

'Doc says I'm in ship-shape.'

"Mommie!"

Snowman tries on carrot noses.

Ask me about my thick neck.

'They'll be talking about that for years!'

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

Then the mask mandate was lifted and we all had to get used to that again.

'...and this develops their sense of aggression and ability to smash things.'

"I heard Ralphie blows out his car speakers every three weeks."

Man Struggling with Giant Speakers.

They were out of sleeves.

'Well if you're going to play footsie with Roy Keane, what do you expect?'

"I don't care what the question is."

Lady to beat up husband: 'Wasn't that nice that my self-defense class signed your cast?'

"Well...it finally happened...instead of a sound system for his wheels, Ralphie just got wheels for his sound system!"

"The boos I can handle. It's the silence of the educated fans that rankles."