Behind-the-scenes Sound Guru T-Shirts

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

True Story Movie

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

"Crosby, Stills, Nash & Jung"

'My bike is so loud I couldn't hear my tunes.'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

Reality TV

Fuzz - a higher power guides Max's fingers.

"Do you think we could stop using 'Julius Caesar' in the role plays?"

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'

Though he wrote the world's most listened-to melody, few people know of Tony Bombosa, the genius behind AOL Instant Messenger's four-note jingle.

'He uses rim shots instead of banging on his gavel.'

'Sorry guys! But i'm afraid we're going to have to shoot this segment again. The darn tape just ran out!'

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

Audience thinking 'What a tosser!'

'Is there a spotlight operator in the house?'

Orchestra playing to working man.

"It looks like the loud noises are coming from a sound system Dad, presumably set up to stop us from eating the grapes..."

And he thinks I can't hear the TV.

Little Jimmy Harmon: first to amplify the sparerib

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

Sign outside a movie studio: Standing in line Auditions.

'Casualty, Take one' clapper board traps persons finger

'You may be a werewolf but we prefer computer generated special effects. It looks much more real.'

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

U2: World's Laziest Band

Man with headphone attach to fish, the fish is the new I-cod.

'Looks like the band and the sound technician had a difference of opinion again during a sound check.'

This week, House Manager Blowviatt has been asked to avoid the appearance of playing to the cameras.