Behind-the-scenes Aficionado Pillows

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

'You may be a werewolf but we prefer computer generated special effects. It looks much more real.'

True Story Movie

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Showbiz Awards

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

Abacus.

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"It's Cinderella?!?"

"Well, that's show business."

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

"I just installed a home security monitor."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: All in a Day's Work

"I want to thank all the little people."

'And now the award for the best product placement in a motion picture...'

"And the award for the best interruption of an oscar speech goes to...The woodwinds."

Reality TV

Henry Fonda

TV moments we never see, 'Branded'

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

How wire-tapping began. Is that some kind of eavesdropping equipment? Sort of

"Do you think we could stop using 'Julius Caesar' in the role plays?"

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

Frank Sinatra

"I'm Kirk Douglas."

"OK people, this one's for the blooper reel, so let's blow it out there."

'I wrote on this piece of cardboard because the teleprompter is broken. Just say something about technical difficulties and we'll be right back after these messages or whatever. Just don't read this on air!'