Behavioral Science Buff Pillows

"Mr. Smythe, Billy Brownell is here for his anti-bullying counseling session."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Cat box"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"First date hairball... awkward."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Banana Split Personality

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"I appreciate the effort Carl, but I don't think you understand the swarm concept."

"Did you just do a rooster?"

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"You dropped yer wallet."

'I screwed up royally!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'The Lemming Book Store'

"Oh boy, that was a huge belly-flop..."

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

Ostrich Curoisities