Behavior Adventurer Pillows

"You have got to want to change."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Needs to get a life"

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'You did help Junior with his science project.'

Halo Frisbee.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"It's going to be one of those days."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

Ego Increasing School

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'...And the mama bear's porridge was frozen solid....'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

Ideas that failed: Goliath Goats.

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

2pm meet your Creator

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'