Begrudgingly Polite Partier T-Shirts

"At least try to act as if you are pleased to be here."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

The devil you know and his plus one

Peel poker.

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

The merger hits a snag.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

"Die alone"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

"Me: I never get invited to anything Also me: Sorry, I'm so tired, think I'll stay in."

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

A Louis Auchincloss-Type Law firm

"See? I told you it would be more fun settling our differences over a few drinks."

Won't it be fun to vacation with your grandmother? I guess. But I'd rather go with you and daddy. Oh, honey! That's so sweet! We'll miss you tooo � Groan! We'll have to be polite 24/7! Does my smile look sincere?

"I love what you've done with that punch bowl Reginald!"

He's shy. I always have to drag him to these things, kicking and screaming.

Gentleman whale.

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

'Hi. I'm Major Fixer-Upper.'

Man attempts to be rid of girl's father so he can be with her

A man doffs his head in passing.

"Ah – the good, the bad, and the god-awful."

Canadian Standoff

'...46 and still have Principles...'

My cell phone minutes don't roll over and I don't want to waste them. That's why I'm dialling random numbers and wishing everyone a good day.

"Please forgive my manners, Miss, 'tis the Regency Period and we have not enjoyed rollicking sex since luncheon."

"Once you've stood up for one actor, you're not allowed to sit back down for the next."

"Dammit, Trevor! Just say 'Please' so we can get outta here!"